12 more days and counting!!

It is Wednesday night and I am thinking about how close I am to seeing my son again! Our court appointment is on the 15th at 10:15AM, and then we will go see him after the appointment. I wonder if he will recognize us at all, it has been over 3 months since he has seen us. I wonder if he will cry when he sees us like he did when he first met us, as we were strangers. I want this little guy to know that we have done everything in our power to bring him home. I want him to know that we didnt forget about him, and he has been in our hearts and on our minds since the first email we received with him. It is amazing how when you think you are so blessed with a perfect life, two great children, a wonderful husband, a business you love, a beautful home, two dogs, God in my life, but yet...something felt like it wasnt right...that is because our son wasnt yet with us. I cant imagine what it will be like to hold him in my arms once we are home and know that I dont ever have to worry again about what is our next step, because at that point..it will just be life. Raising our family, loving this little guy, and providing him with an amazing life & experinces. I am sure he will teach me a thing or two about what boys are made of...I thought Rylie & Adyson broke me in good, but from what I hear boys are a little loud and boystrious!! I cant wait! When I hear moms talk about their babies not sleeping at night, and about their toddlers jumping out of a tree and breaking their arm...I catch myself thinking, how many times did I take each life experince with my girls for granted. If only I would have the opportunity to experince that with Mateo. I have missed out on so much with him. I go to the pool each week with the girls and see the little toddlers running around as I am laying out getting a tan...and oh, how I wish that was me ( white skinned and running all over the place trying to catch those little guys that keep running off)..but instead I am laying out watching my girls grown diving off the diving boards, not wanting to be with their moms anymore..it isnt cool.... I long for the moment that I an take him to the pool , and see him play in water.

I long for the moment we land at the KCI Airport and I see the reactions of Rylie and Adyson when they see and hug their brother for the first time. Everyday he is in my thoughts and I cannot seem to get "it" out of my mind....when is "it" going to happen for us. Mateo deserves to live his life, he deserves to be loved by his family that very much wants him.

The fair is coming up in our home town in a few weeks, and I catch myself wishing her were able to be here to see the cows and watch his sister compete. To watch the parade for the first time.

Last summer I said, this is the last summer I will be without him, and here it is summer and I am still waiting.

God, you know my heart, you know that we want him and are willing to do great things, whatever it takes... to bring him home to us. Please enlarge the judges heart, please allow the birth mother to come in and do her DNA test, for it to come back positive, for them to allow Doug & I to bring our baby home. I beleive in miricles and beleive that you can do all things. I am attaching some new photos of our family just recently taken, and soon Mateo will be with us too....thank you all for sharing this journey with me...xoxo, valerie