Sunday, April 19, 2009

Its Sunday and I find myself thinking again of little Mateo

Still no update from Roberto. I am told that in Guatemala Easter is a big holiday, so they take a few weeks off. It has been 3 weeks now since I have last heard from Roberto. I have emailed him and called him multiple times and get no response from him???
It is VERY frustrating. I keep hearing about how families are in CNA waiting to get their empathy studies scheduled by the CNA, and I am still not there yet as I havent heard from Roberto if our file has been brought there yet?!! It sounds like it is not a fast process through the CNA, so I am praying to get him home by Christmas. I cant believe that I am having to even say that, this will be his 3rd Christmas....I dont want to think about him not being here.

I was in Las Vegas at NTC and our president brought her granddaughter up front to show her to everyone and I melted...I just started crying and couldnt stop, so had to go to the bathroom , hide in a stall , and bawl. Everytime I see a baby, at church, at the store, my thoughts go to him for all that I have missed with him. I am so angry, that this has taken so long!! I am angry that I am literally just so empty, because I have such a blessed life; my husband, my girls, my business, my team, my friends, my health, but I cannot physically do anything to hurry this process up! It just makes me so sad that this little boy is missing so many life experiences cooped up in this tiny orphanage. My am sooo angry! How can you feel so blessed one minute and so sad the next.

My girls deserve to finally be able to see their brother. My husband deserves to be with his son, and take him out to help with the cows. I deserve to be able to play with my son, read him books, play football with him, just LOVE him. Mateo deserves his family. What more can I do at this point??? I pray mulitple times a day, but I dont understand what else I can do??